I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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