I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize