i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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