I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize