My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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