hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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