I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
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I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize