Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize