it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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