I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize