I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize