I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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