What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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