I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize