I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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