did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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