Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize