whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize