I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize