Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize