What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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