come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize