..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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