Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize