We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We left an ass print on the piano.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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