He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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