I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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