i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize