It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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