I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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