I feel like abortions should bother me more
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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