Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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