Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
honey bunches of taint.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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