May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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