am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry about my life...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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