Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize