peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize