He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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