I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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