It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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