I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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