Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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