I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize