I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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