I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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