Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize