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I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
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