real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize