so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize