College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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